


Promise

by whereiismymindd



Series: Rainy Nights [4]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-05
Updated: 2016-07-05
Packaged: 2018-07-21 18:17:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7398337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whereiismymindd/pseuds/whereiismymindd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>19-year-old Anakin attacks a fellow padawan who was making fun of his feelings for his master. Obi Wan confronts his apprentice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Promise

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long! For some reason, I found it very hard to write. But it is here now! 
> 
> Only one installment left of the Rainy Nights series! I have no idea when it will be up, though, so be patient with me.
> 
> I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> Sadly, I don't own them.

Obi Wan had decided to meditate in a room overlooking the gardens, thinking it would be a peaceful place where he would be able to relax while listening to the rain. Evidently, he had been wrong.

“Get in here. Get back in here, you coward!” Obi Wan would recognize that voice anywhere. He quickly got up and got closer to the window.

Anakin was standing at the door, body tense, not daring to go outside. There was another padawan standing in the gardens under the rain, laughing.

“You are afraid of the rain and _I_ am the coward? Come on, Ani! Don’t get mad just because I decided to tell the truth.”

“Shut up! If you are so brave, come and say it to my face.”

“Fine. You’re still the same pathetic unlovable little kid you were at sixteen, hopelessly pining after your Master, who will never _ever_ look at you that way.”

Obi Wan’s heart skipped a beat. What was going on?

“You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I think I do, Ani. You are so bad at hiding it. I’m sure he knows. He _is_ the great Obi Wan Kenobi, after all. But, really, do you think you stand a chance? He was in love with _Qui Gon Jinn_ , for Force’s sake! Do you think you can ever compare? You’re just a silly little padawan to him. As soon as he is done with you, that will be it. And you’re so pathetic you don’t even get it!”

Suddenly, a blue light came to life and the padawan started running. Obi Wan was so shocked that it took him a while to realize that Anakin had actually turned on his lightsaber and gone after the other kid in the rain. Cursing his impulsive padawan under his breath, Obi Wan run downstairs.

 

*

 

“You should take off those wet clothes, Padawan,” Obi Wan said as soon as they got to their quarters.

Anakin started taking off his tunics. He looked miserable, his blonde locks dripping wet. He had been silent since Obi Wan had taken him away, he wouldn’t even meet his eyes.

Obi Wan sighed and put his hands on his hips, waiting.

“Can you tell me what were you thinking?” He asked, once he realized the young man would not utter a word.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” said Anakin, while sitting on the couch and taking off his boots.

“Well, that’s too bad because we _are_ going to talk about it, and we’re going to do it right now.”

“I really don’t want to talk about it, Obi Wan.”

“Master,” said Obi Wan, his voice suddenly cold.

“What?” Anakin finally looked at his Master. Obi Wan could see the anger in his eyes. Well, too bad.

“I am your master. Right now, you are being reprimanded and you don’t get to make light of it and call me Obi Wan. I’m not being your friend. I am your master, and whether you like it or not, you will show me some respect.” The master’s voice had grown louder with every word, and once he was done, the silence became deafening.

Anakin breathed deeply, trying to release his fury into the Force. Finally, he looked at Obi Wan. His gaze was much more relaxed.

“I’m sorry, Master,” he said, softly.

Obi Wan smiled. “That’s better. Will you answer my question now?”

“He deserved it,” muttered the young man, clenching his fists.

“You put your lightsaber an inch away from his neck, Anakin!”

“He said some…” Anakin got up and ran his fingers through his hair, looking lost. “I really don’t want to talk about it.”

Obi Wan took pity on his padawan and got closer to him, his voice gentle. “He said hurtful things. He really should mind his own business and stop attacking you. I’ll talk to his Master first thing in the morning.”

“Yeah…” said Anakin, distracted. Suddenly, he looked up at his Master, his eyes huge. “Wait, what? You heard?”

“Of course I heard, Anakin! I was just inside and you were screaming in the gardens. How do you think I got there so quickly?”

Their gazes met and for a few seconds no one spoke.

But the shock didn’t last too long, and Anakin began to panic. “Oh, Force. Oh, Stars… Master….”

Obi Wan grabbed his padawan’s shoulder to prevent him from running away. “Anakin, listen. I’m not blind, okay? I’ve lived with you, taught you and basically raised you since you were nine. I know you better than anyone. I already knew, okay?”

“Can you kill me right now? Just make it quick and get this all over with.” Anakin closed his eyes and stood still, as if he really thought his master would run him through with his lightsaber.

Obi Wan chuckled, looking fondly at his very young apprentice. “You forget I was once in the same position you are right now, Padawan.”

“That’s not true, Obi Wan.” Anakin said, keeping his eyes closed.

“What do you mean?” he asked, puzzled.

“You weren’t rejected.”

“I didn’t say anything…”

Anakin finally opened his eyes and looked at his Master. “I know you, Obi Wan.”

Obi Wan didn’t know what to say. The Code didn’t actually have a section called ‘How to deal with your Padawan’s crush’. There were certain rules, of course, that all masters followed to dissuade their apprentices when they began showing the obvious signs, but that didn’t really apply to Anakin. That hadn’t really applied to Qui Gon and himself, either.  

“Look. I know what he said was true…” Anakin started saying, and Obi Wan realized his silence had been misinterpreted.

“No, no, listen to me.” Obi Wan grabbed Anakin’s shoulders. “You are getting everything wrong. First of all, you are not unlovable. You know I love you. And yes, I used to be in a relationship with Qui Gon, but that doesn’t mean that you have to compare yourself to him in any way. You are different, understand? Two different people. I love you just the way you are.”

“You just aren’t _in_ love with me…” said Anakin, his voice so quiet his master only heard him because they were standing so close.

Obi Wan sighed. How could he make him understand? He let go of Anakin and sat on the sofa, signaling his apprentice to do the same. Anakin sat next to him, keeping his distance. Both master and padawan stared at the floor.

“Remember the first time we talked about me and Qui Gon?”

“Yeah…”

“And I told you that being in a relationship in which we weren’t equals was really challenging?”

“Yes.”

“Well… Qui Gon might have been able to handle being my master, my authority figure, and my lover at the same time, but I certainly wouldn’t be able to do that.”

Obi Wan could feel the burn of Anakin’s stare on his head. “What? Why not?”

Obi Wan turned to look at his confused padawan. “Because being your master is hard enough as it is.”

“Oh,” said Anakin, averting his gaze.

Were those tears in his padawan’s eyes? Stars! He was messing this up.

“No, Ani. It’s not because of you!” Obi Wan got closer to Anakin and, with a hand on his cheek, he gently turned his padawan’s head. “When you became my responsibility I was so young. I was a padawan training a padawan. And I had just lost my mentor. I didn’t know what I was doing half the time, and I was raising the most powerful Jedi ever!”

“You always seemed to know what you were doing.”

Anakin looked so small, so innocent in that moment, that Obi Wan just wanted to take him in his arms, promise him everything would be alright and protect him from anything that might harm him. But that wasn’t a very good idea. And _he_ was the one hurting his padawan.

He suddenly realized he had left his hand on Anakin’s cheek, and he gently removed it. Anakin’s eyes followed it until he placed it on his lap. His padawan’s eyes held such longing, he had to clear his throat before he could go on.

“Well, I used to feel like a fraud. You deserved a better master, but I had promised Qui Gon I would do it and I didn’t want to let anyone down.”

“You didn’t. You were… _are_ an amazing master,” said Anakin fiercely.

Obi Wan smiled.

“Well, those feelings are gone now. Most of the time, anyway. But it is hard, Anakin. It is…” suddenly his throat closed and he just couldn’t go on.

“Obi Wan…” Anakin got closer to him, worry all over his face.

Obi Wan sighed, and looked at his anxious padawan. “I can’t ruin this, Anakin. I made a promise to the most important person in my life until you arrived. The Council is counting on me. _You_ are counting on me. Your future depends on me, on what comes out of our relationship as master and padawan.” Obi Wan got up, lifting his arms in a nervous gesture. “What do I know, you are the chosen one! The future of the whole galaxy may depend on me, on what I can teach you! I just can’t ruin this, Anakin. I really can’t.”

Anakin got up and lifted his master’s chin. Their pained gazes met.

“Look, Obi Wan. It’s okay. Really. You don’t owe me an explanation.”

Obi Wan smiled. When had his padawan got so tall? Having him standing so close, his hand on his chin… Everything was such a mess.

He sighed and gently took his padawan’s hand off his face. “I know, but you have a right to know. You are important to me, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. If anything, you are too important, and that’s why I need to make sure I’m doing the right thing.”

Tired of seeing Anakin suffer, Obi Wan took Anakin in his arms. They had hugged many times since they became master and apprentice, but this hug was different. This hug represented a million words they wanted to say and couldn’t. It represented the complexity of their relationship. It was filled with love and the weight of everything left unsaid. It was hard and long, it was beautiful and heartbreaking, it was a promise and a rejection. Obi Wan’s eyes started burning. When had everything become so complicated? 

“I’m sorry, Master,” Anakin said to his neck, his voice filled with tears. “For everything. I’ll apologize tomorrow.”

“You are forgiven, Padawan. Just make sure it doesn’t happen again. We’ll meditate together on this and do some control exercises. Oh, and the Council will probably punish you.”

Obi Wan felt Anakin’s shoulders shake with laughter.

“That is no surprise.”

“You should stop giving them reasons to do it.”

They finally let go. Anakin stepped back and smiled sadly at his master.

“I know. But think how boring your life would be if I were the perfect padawan.”

Obi Wan looked at his padawan with the same sad expression.

“You will be the death of me,” he said, quietly. An inside joke. Familiar. Safe.

“I know. Goodnight, Master.” With a final small smile, Anakin turned to go to his room.

Obi Wan decided he couldn’t let his padawan go like that. He had to say something.

“Hey, Anakin.”

Anakin stopped and turned. “Yeah?”

“When you become a knight… We’ll talk about this again, okay?” Obi Wan was surprised by how steady his voice sounded.

Anakin’s smile could have lit up the whole temple.

“I can’t wait. Goodnight.”


End file.
